Mother of the World

The other night, in the middle of the night, I said goodbye to an illusion. I hadn't expected it at all, it just fell away at 1:33 am, and when it did, I jolted awake.

I'd been holding onto the idea for a while, that I would work full time for a few years to save enough money to be able to work part time in order to give myself time to make art, and to see if, in that time, I could become good enough at making art to be able to be an artist full time. But could I pull it off in time?

It was as if the idea just couldn't sustain itself anymore, and it wasn't until it dropped away in the night that I realized how hard I'd been grasping onto it. I don't yet know how this shift will change my daily life. In fact, I have less time than ever before. But since that night I've turned my whole apartment around, putting an art studio where my bed used to be.

Above, Roerich's painting "Mother of the World" catches the light.