Lemon tart

Lately I've been questioning whether daily drawing is something I can keep realistically doing at this time. I say this because I've noticed that I'm starting to live the type of life I've never wanted, the all American-extremely-stressed-out-"dream". And in two weeks I'm also taking on another job. When I look at what I have to get done, and what can give, the only conclusion is the drawing or my sanity. I have to get through school and I have to work. I get so sad to think that it's art, once again, that has to go. 

So, I'm juggling my options. I think this is a terrible drawing and even though it was only a five minute sketch I couldn't concentrate. I hate showing drawings that aren't good because that's all I had time for. Maybe once a week drawings? I know the every day practice has been so beneficial and I just hate the thought of letting it go. I see so many images in my mind that I have no time to access. I get frustrated seeing art that is not very good in galleries marked at high prices. I think I could do the daily thing again in the summer, and would like to try oil painting then too. Or maybe I can keep doing it in general and am just having a bad day. I really don't know.

Business cards

I had some business cards made by Vista print. They have great promotional offers so I was able to experiment without too much of an investment. I chose my favorite drawing and first sale.

I'm not sure why the drawing from two days ago was emailed out with yesterday's drawing. Sometimes mysterious technological things happen and I have no idea why.

Neuro exam

I'm studying for a neuroanatomy exam right now. I like to study on the floor where I can spread everything out. My yoga bolster serves as a desk. I love the class and find the subject matter fascinating, but it takes a ton of time and brain cells to understand what's going on.

Bow ties

Man alive, daily drawing is seriously hanging in the balance this semester. I still haven't gotten to the grocery store. Luckily I had these bow ties and a jar of sauce on hand.

Soap on sandpaper

I had to do a big presentation at school today and I'm just exhausted right now. I was going to do a quick drawing of a bar of soap, but then I couldn't find my pad of newsprint, even though I used it yesterday! I got so frustrated that I drew on a piece of sandpaper that was sitting right there. It was a fairly realistic drawing but I wanted to shake the extra pastel off before putting it on the scanner. When I shook the sandpaper the whole drawing fell off! Well, I learned what happens when you draw on sandpaper. I actually like the effect though. And there on the scanner I found my newsprint pad.

My presentation today was about yoga for people who have paraplegia. It was inspired by Matthew Sanford's amazing story. The exhaustion was worth it.

Kneaded eraser

Speaking of ugly things, this is my kneaded eraser. It is a must have for drawing! I remember my first week of art school, all the freshman bumbling around through the art store getting everything they needed on their supply lists. The kneaded eraser was one of those things. I had never heard of it before. It holds together instead of crumbling apart like pink erasers. You can flatten it for wide areas, and pinch it to a point for details. Hail to the kneaded eraser!

Cell phone

I didn't have time to get groceries today, let alone draw, so I can't even offer a quick sketch of a colorful lemon or pear. Yes, this is really my cell phone. Yes, it is really that ugly. I got it for free when I signed up for the service however many years ago. I know I should probably get something more fancy and modern, but the darn thing keeps working really well, and I'm not much of a phone person anyway.

Fuji

I drew this one late, and didn't have any natural light. Since it was hard to see the drawing itself or the pastels I was using, it came out looser and more expressive than the others. This is the last of the five minute apple drawings because I've used up all the varieties available at the local co-op.

Gala

Braeburn

I love still lives. I find them soothing in this not so still life.

Tethered

The oil painting progress is at an indefinite standstill. One realtor said my art studio is a distraction to buyers. Even though it's ridiculously clean for an art studio, it's set up in what, to a normal person, would be the master bedroom. I picked that room because it's the largest and most well lit one in the house. Why use all that great space just for a bed? 

Another realtor said the house should be fully furnished or completely empty. What I own is not a lot, but it's not nothing either. It's so stressful to have to clean every day when I'm ridiculously busy. Two days ago I screamed with terror because a realtor was inside the house and I hadn't heard the door bell ring. And on on top of all this, no one is actually coming to see the house.

This is not a rant against realtors, but a way of admitting to myself that this may not be the time and place to start painting. I'm frustrated because I can see and feel so much potential, but I'm completely compressed by time and space. Sometimes it's hard to known when you should force things to happen through will power and determination, and when you need to surrender.

Magical elephant

I didn't know what to draw tonight so I thought about line drawings and started to doodle.

Sweethearts

Louie and I had such a great Valentine's Day in Taos. A few candy hearts remain. It was so good to get away, even if only for a night. I discovered the art work of Beth Haidle, both at Cafe Loka and the Paper Cloud next door. I just love her hand lettering and illustrations. I bought a 'zine called Land of Entrapment filled with stories of those who've found themselves living in New Mexico unexpectedly, as many of us have.

Her work reminded me of the way I used to love doing detailed drawings in black pen. There is so much I want to return to, and so much to still discover. Trips to Taos always have a mystical effect on me. My mind and spirit expand with so many ideas, colors, and textures, while my body pleads for more five minute drawings so it can keep with all the demands.

Cupcake

This model didn't last nearly as long as the apples did.

Valentine

It turns out that a five minute drawing of a rose is not easy to do, so I tried a ten minute drawing. I'm not crazy about that one either. I think a rose is something you would have to draw again and again to get that quick detailed but zen like feeling. Oh well, happy Valentine's Day!

Louie and I are in Taos for the weekend so I set today's and tomorrow's posts on a timer. I hope it worked!

Pink lady

For a quick and healthy snack, chop up one apple, sprinkle half a teaspoon each of cinnamon and allspice on top, and microwave for 1.5 minutes. That's been the fate of my models this week.

Delicious

I learned something important about color when I was looking at my art books over the holiday break. Remember when I was struggling to draw the tea cup and I couldn't figure out how to make things lighter without adding white, or darker without adding black? It turns out that if you pay attention to the color wheel, and then your apple, when red gets lighter it turns yellow, when it gets darker it turns violet.

The funny thing about this is that I'm sure I've been told that in any art class I've ever taken. But I must have thought it was too boring and scientific and started daydreaming at the time. There are a few things in life where I think "Why didn't anyone tell me about that when I was younger?" (like compound interest). More and more I realize they probably did. Over and over.

Honey crisp

Five minute drawings have allowed me to finish two papers and start another school project, so I'm going to continue for another week to get everything else in life caught up. Sketching on newsprint makes things easier too, probably because I worry less about wasting expensive paper. Newsprint gets saturated with color fast, which makes it hard to layer pastels, but that's okay for a five minute drawing. The limitation of the time and materials forces me to see only the most important information and not get lost in the details. It's a good thing.

Granny smith

Bottle

Fiskars, handstand

I drew these lying flat but I thought the drawing came out looking like a handstand. I wonder if my scissors are doing acrobatics when I'm out of the house? I've been setting the timer for 5 minutes and it really is amazing when can get done in that time.

Fiskars, open

Fiskars

Masking tape

Last night I had to admit to myself that in doing so many things, and trying to do them well, I am starting to unravel. For the next week I'll be doing fast sketches on newsprint that take five minutes or less. I need to catch up on the things I have to do that are actually being graded. And probably no commentary, unless, of course, I have something pressing to say. I think the fast sketches will bring some breath back into my drawing too.

Button card

I love vintage button cards, but I'm not thrilled with this drawing. I had limited time today and couldn't calm down and concentrate. Sometimes (often) daily drawing is really, really hard. It doesn't fit easily into a busy life. And it's embarrassing when I have to post a drawing I don't think is good. 

Just a few days ago I started a new practice. I'd been getting overwhelmed by all the negativity that's going on in the world and in my own head. I decided that each time I think or hear something negative, I'll notice three positive things. It really has helped. I'm off to look at my three favorite drawings now.

Chinese pincushion

I found this pincushion at the antique shop. I drew it on a page from an old book of Chinese art. It's good to have my pupils back.

In the next few weeks I plan to start learning how to oil paint. My limited experience with oil painting has been frustrating. It's very hard to control and is so....oily. But I've always thought it was something I wanted to learn. I can either discover that I like it, or never have to do it again. This week's step is to take my drawing table out of the box. I need an area specific to painting so I don't get paint on my homework. Murphy's Law says that if I finally set up the table and start painting, the house will sell and I'll have to take the whole thing apart again. 

Anyway, I'm announcing all this here so I will actually do it. I have fear about presenting this learning process, like the fear I had when I started this blog. But this quote by Georgia O'Keeffe helps, "I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do".

Daily drawing, no eyes

I've been having some mysterious visual symptoms so I went to see the eye doctor today. I got a clean bill of health but now my pupils are dilated and I can't see well enough to draw! I've spent the last few hours napping and meditating, it's amazing how everything depends on eyes. See you tomorrow!

Five red buttons

I wanted to try drawing on a new surface, without having to leave the house to buy something, so I turned to one of the old books I use for collage. I told myself I had to draw on whatever page I opened to. I was pretty lucky to land on this one. Even though the two subjects don't really go together, I do like the way one is very small and one is very large and my eye goes back and forth between them.

The two opposites somehow remind me of stillpoint. Stillpoint is when you are moving either very slow or very fast, and everything becomes still. In the deep stillness of meditation, an ant passing by appears to be moving very fast. The Whirling Dervishes spin so fast that everything becomes still. 

I was thinking about the downturn in the economy, and how it has affected so many. Not just realtors and car salesmen, but pecan growers, horses, and antique shops. With that thought, and last week's post about longing for the times when I had time, I set forth to an antique mall that I hadn't been to in a very long while. I was on a mission to stimulate the economy and see how many things to draw $30 could buy. This piece is the first in a new short series called "Antique shop, and a thought".