Commitment

This is simply a plant that's growing in front of my apartment, but while I was painting I thought about a question I received in a job interview last week. After reviewing my vast work and life history I was asked "Are you afraid of commitment?". My heart sank. I knew a corporate health care job interview would be a bit cut and dry but why must people who live slightly outside the box still be seen as having commitment issues?

In my younger years I was highly committed to living fully, to do what many people wait until retirement to do. That way I could spend my last years sitting in an adirondack chair reflecting on memories of what I'd experienced, rather than "should have dones". And then there's the commitment of doing this darn blog every day.

I find commitment soothing. The problem is not with the action itself, I thought while painting this plant, but with knowing exactly what to commit to. Should I commit to the thing that makes the most money? Should I commit to following my heart? Should I commit to the tremendous effort of juggling both?

I've been painting with the same medium for the past few weeks because it's what I had set aside while packing. It's starting to become what I know, and there's so much to be said for studying something deeply. But what about all the other mediums out there to be explored? Does that curiosity reflect a lack of commitment? Or am I commited to fulfilling my curiosity?